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I always wanted to be in control of my emotions to avoid getting knocked out by an unexpected sucker punch, never wanting to be the one who leaned in first again.The idea of being over-exposed was death to me: if I never gave too much to a girlfriend, I could never be hurt when her feelings changed for the worse.Our feelings are indicators of our current alignment with our soul’s path and higher energy source.

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Having begun my romantic life with a few teenage heartbreaks (translation: being mercilessly dumped), I learnt quickly to keep my guard up every time I felt myself on the verge of falling for someone new.My twenties have since been one long lean into vulnerability.I found as I got better at allowing myself to show my feelings, I enjoyed more love, experienced greater closeness, and felt more connected to girlfriends than I ever felt in my early relationships.My early childhood and adolescent years were largely dysfunctional.I grew up broke for the most part in an unstable household, where my father, who was an alcoholic, was also verbally or physically abusive.Joe, on the other hand, was a little nervous about moving too fast, so he set boundaries to help us keep a healthy pace. I couldn’t understand why he would want to slow things down. Tess: I'm writing to you today to see if you have any advice on how to navigate a new relationship I'm in.